Love and Monsters

Thank you for your interest
We hope you will be fine
But we have decided
Your candidacy is not on the line

Your permanent record states
You were truant three times
And then the incident
Where you colored outside of the lines

Another record
Of which we are aware
A piece of gum that
You placed in Miss Marshall's hair

We know you are thinking
It was so long ago
But you were warned about
Throwing a rock in a ball of snow

Your auditor noted
GOOD BEHAVIOR for thirty years
But we strongly believe
Past actions will shape future careers

Due to these factors
We're sure you will agree
Your best course of action
A reeducation facility

Relax, calm yourself,
There's nothing to be afraid of
Relax, ease your mind
The giant monster's just in love

Nothing's gonna change
I know it might seem strange

Everything will be alright
Everything will be alright
Everything will be fine tonight
Everything is always fine tonight

Nothing's gonna change
Nothing is so strange
Relax, calm yourself
He isn't ever gonna hurt you
Relax, ease your mind
And if he does what could you do

Nothing's gonna change
The city's gonna rearrange
Nothing's gonna change
He's here on a monster exchange

Relax, calm yourself
There's nothing to be afraid of
Relax, calm yourself
And show the monster all of your love

Put Cindy back on the bus
She isn't one of us
I don't care what you say
She's just gotta go away

Put Cindy back on the bus
Don't make such a stupid fuss
Everything she did
Everything she said
Every way she messed us up

Put Cindy back on the bus
Do it before I start to cuss
Every way she hurt us bad
Every way she made us mad
Everything she did to fuck us up

Hey, driver! Hey driver take her away
Hey, driver! Hey I got somethin' to say
Don't let her talk to you, don't let her say how she's been wronged
Don't let her talk to you, don't let her speak until you're gone

Cindy needs to stay on that bus
'Cause you know she ain't one of us
She won't know a thing
She won't know a thing
From now until she wakes up

Cindy needs to stay on that bus
You really got to listen to us
Everything she did
Everything she said
It's either this or beat her up

Cindy needs to stay on that bus
Please driver don't make a fuss
We paid for the trip
There's nothing wrong with it
Please go before she can wake up

Hey, driver! Hey driver take her away
Hey, driver! Hey I got somethin' to say
This guy don't know a thing, this guy don't know what's going on
This guy don't know a thing, he don't know why we need her gone
(We NEED her gone!)

Put Cindy back on the bus
She isn't one of us
Don't care what you say, she's gotta go away
Put Cindy back on the bus

Wake up in the morning
Before the alarm goes
Trying to fall back to sleep
Still in last night's clothes
Lying half awake, I still can't
get up when the beeping starts
Why would I

Sleepwalk through the morning
On the way to work
That guy on the bicycle is
Such a stupid jerk
I think I should push him over
Just to show him up
But why would I

Sometimes it is very hard to
keep yourself moving when it's gone
haywire

Monday morning meeting
Going way too long
Finished up my coffee but the
coffee isn't strong
I feel like I need to sleep
I need to keep moving but
why would I

Tuesday PM meeting
Life is way too short
Everything I try to say cut
off with a retort
Why does this guy work here, he's a
jerk, here, I should shut him up
why would I

Sometimes it is very hard to
keep yourself moving when it's all
haywire

Oh, listen to me
Think about the damage done
How hard can it be
Just to have a little fun

Wednesday morning dreary
I get nothing done
Thursday comes and Friday goes
Still get nothing done
I should reconsider my
Career choice, find a new voice but
Why would I

Sometimes it is very hard to
keep yourself moving when it's gone
haywire

I dreamt I was a husky in my youth
It was very odd to be so uncouth
I would run around with nowhere to go
But to slip and slide in the frozen snow

All I did for every day was run around
And try not to fall down upon the frozen ground
Not caring what was a lie and what was truth
I dreamt I was a husky in my youth

The world faded and changed until it was light
Everything was simple and was such a sight
An outline around everything that I could see
And colors were simply not quite ordinary

I dreamt I was a husky in my youth
Starring in a film by Donald Bluth
The evil businessman tried to capture me
After he ate the yellow snow I made for free

The movie went on and on
It was two hours long
Snow was everywhere
In the yard and in my hair

As a child I did not like dogs very much
They were always wet and messy to my touch
So when I dreamt I was a husky youth
I woke up in my bed needing to see the truth

I found I had changed overnight
Into a husky pup much to my fright
Just like in the dream I had fur and claws
And little black pads on my four paws

I did not know how this change could be
But then a joyous calm washed over me
I could smell what was a lie and what was truth
I dreamt I was a husky in my youth

So, there's this pretty weird thing that happened to me recently. I was walking down the street, and this guy came up to me... he was wearing a blanket like a cloak, like he was some sort of wizard or something, but he smelled like pee and feces. I mean, that's not the weird thing, that happens pretty much every day. But anyway he stepped in front of me and said, "Hey, you want a moscow?" I told him no and tried to keep going, but he kept on stepping in front of me, and he was all, "Come on, this moscow, it's great." And I noticed that he was holding this thing in his hands which looked like a clay cow, that was covered in, you know, that fuzzy plant, that looks like moss but isn't. You know, that cheap sort of gift you get at the drug store for that person who you really want to make them aware that you like them but not enough to give a crap about what sort of gift you get them, right? Anyway, so this guy is trying to get me to take the terra-cotta cow and I just want to get home and he's just saying, "Come on, man, take it. I gotta get rid of it, but I don't wanna just throw it out," and I said, "Fine," and I took it, and then he just said, "Thanks!" and ran off really fast.

But that's not really the weird part. So, I took this stupid thing home, and figured it would go okay next to my herb garden on my balcony, and so I thought I put it there, but when I went into the kitchen to fill up my watering can, the moscow was sitting next to the sink. Pretty weird, right? Anyway, I just watered it right there, and now... yeah, this is the really, really weird part. It actually turned its head at me – yeah, I know, right? – and it said "Idaho!"

Now of course this was really weird. I mean, not only was this little tchotchke talking, but you'd think that if a cow were to talk it'd say something like, "Moo." I dunno, "Milk me." Something like that. Right? But "Idaho?" So I asked, "Idaho?" And it said, "No, Idaho."

So, I called this friend of mine and asked her to come over – she's a biologist, I mean – and when she came by she asked what was so important. "Look," I said, "I have this... this moscow." And she said, "O...kay? It's a cow, yeah?" "No, a moscow," I said. "See, 'coz it's like, covered in moss, right?" And she said, "Yeah, I see those all the time. So?" And I said, "Well, this one talks." She just kind of waited for me to say more, and I said, "WIth its mouth." She looked at me funny and said, "You're joking." And I was like, "No, n–here, I'll show you," and I watered it again, and it said, "Idaho."

So my friend was kind of weirded out too and she asked, "Idaho?" And then the moscow said, "No, Idaho. Youdaslut."

Anyway, they're best friends now.

I think you ought to know I
haven't slept in days
It seems I'm spending my time
Wandering in a haze
They say that patience is the
opposite of sin
But it's wearing thin

When I close my eyes I
Only see my fears
This is the worst time I
Remember in years
Everything I know is
In the rubbish bin
I just cannot win

Everywhere I turn I
Hear this thumping sound
Even lying down I'm
not on steady ground
I hope that in a few days
I'll be sleeping in
These walls are paper thin

I look in your window
and nobody's there
last night you told me
you'd be doing your hair

I really do think
if we're going somewhere
We should be honest
About the feelings we share

but you tell another story
or you tell another lie
it is doing nothing for me
i don't know why you even try

I'm so very sorry
I hope you are fine
I worry about you
Getting sick all the time

So I have to wonder
Just give me a clue
How you were out with friends
While sick with the flu

and you tell another story
and you tell another lie
it is doing nothing for me
i don't know why you even try

I don't want to hear it
How your mother just died
This isn't the first time
That you have outright lied

I know what you're saying
Isn't honestly true
Or did you believe the person
I paid to tell you?

but you tell another story
or you tell another lie
it is doing nothing for me
i don't know why you even try

and you tell another story
and you tell another lie
i know you really abhor me
i don't know why you even try

It's the last day on Earth I know
Everything is coming down
We run it to the ground
I think we need another take

We didn't understand the snow
Thought our troubles were gone
Conclusions were withdrawn
Life was just a big mistake

I think we need another take

I think we need some shelter
We deserve this weather
But we're flying to the sun
Everything's undone

And we're lying on the ground
Swallowed up in the sound
What we get is what we make
I think we need another take

It's the last day on Earth I know
Everything is coming down
We run it to the ground
I think we need another take

Why do we all have to be tan?
Different shades of a single master plan
It is all so boring
Baby I am snoring
Why do we all have to be tan

Black and white and zebra stripes!
Red and green would be so keen!
Purple blues and other hues!
These shades of tan just will not do!

If I were a genetic engineer
I'd do what I could to bring it here
Discrimination would be undone
If everyone were the only one

Why do we all have to be tan
And just a woman or a man
Neither both or something in between
I think that would be pretty keen but
Everyone is just... tan

Paisley plaid and polka dot!
Colors patterns are so hot!
Sure we could all get tattoos
But if I did it why would you?

If my idea were everyday
Of course my plea would go away
But other creatures can all have it
So we're unique on this planet?

Why do we all have to be tan?
Different shades of a single master plan
It is all so boring
Baby I am snoring, oh
Why do we all have to be tan

One hundred twenty miles per hour
It sure is cold outside alone
One hundred twenty miles away
After an hour far from home

One hundred twenty miles between us
Why did you have to hurt me so
One hundred twenty miles and counting
I'm sorry that I had to go

Why did you hurt me was it (turn around and glare)
Something that I said (aware)
I try and try (unfair)

Why did you hurt me why (turn around and stare)
Did I have to leave
Why do I have to love you (nowhere)
'Till the day I die (prepare)

One hundred twenty miles per hour
It is now time to move along
One hundred twenty miles away
From everything that was so wrong

One hundred twenty miles between us
It is now crystal clear to me
One hundred twenty miles and counting
We simply were not meant to be

Why did I even put up with (turn around and glare)
your stupidity
Why did I bother with you (aware)
Now I cannot see (unfair)

How could I let you lead me (catch me unaware)
On so very long
I hope to never miss you (we share)
Now that you are gone (repair)

One hundred twenty miles per hour
I'm sure to get away from you
One hundred twenty miles away
It has vastly improved my view

One hundred twenty miles between us
I just don't need you anymore
One hundred twenty miles and counting
Good riddance, don't wait at the door

See the little ants walking down the path
They don't know how to do anything they're bad at math
But a little tiny queen can make some more
One and one make two, two and two make four

And then what happens next is the worlds collide
When a little tiny ant finds the world inside
And the little worker ants can all pass the test
They all work together to bring everything back to the nest

And when someone finds out it doesn't matter
The little tiny ants have made their queen get fatter
So she can lay her eggs all day
So it doesn't matter when the people get the spray

There are so many ants that they cannot die
For every and that's in the house there's two outside
All that we can do is let them be
Learn to love each other for the world to see

I feel safe without you
I feel safe when I'm with you
I feel safe when I'm near you
But I don't think that I need you

You know what it is like when you are alone
Walking in the dark trying to get home
Every little thing that can make a sound
Scares you half to death and you look around

You cannot help but fear for your life
What if somebody is there who has a knife
But you know that n your heart you will be okay
And that everything will let you live another day

When you get inside you look around
Thousands of little black dots are on the ground
They go on with life without a care
Eating all the food that they find lying there

It is no matter what you do or say
Nothing will make the ants ever go away
The lesson that we learn is when the day is done
The little tiny ants are the ones who have won

I feel safe without you
I feel safe when I'm with you
I feel safe when I'm near you
But I don't think that I need you